I went down to the swimming pool a while ago. I don't know how to swim but I just love the water. I jumped into the pool, walk around it (of course by holding the the side of the pool) and started to practice my breathing by submerging into the water. Cool! I manage to do it so effortlessly now. Yay! But still, I wonder when can I be able to swim like the others... Envy them though.. :)
R said something to me a week ago and it still lingers around my mind.. till today I brought it up again during our conversation (chatting) in the evening. I had asked him, "What do you mean by being prepared?" As usual, he would start thinking the best words to be used to explain to me so that I would understand clearly. I admit that when the first time he said that to me, I had accepted it wholly without thinking over about what he actually said. When it started to keep pooping up in my head that I started to think...
Honestly, I do not like failure (no one likes or wants it) especially when it comes to something that is important to me. Example? Career of course, and especially Relationship.
When R said that we will be prepared once we venture into a new chapter -- I would start thinking, can we actually be prepared for it?
Perhaps, yes... For me, be prepared in a relationship would means that we have to realize all the differences between us -- personality, interest, religion, race, or even nationality. Very often, these factors had caused a lot of couple to break up, and yes, I had been through it that is why i said so. Things might seems nice and achievable at the beginning, but when you are already in the middle of the journey, our faith, trust and courage will be put to the test. Be prepared too for me would means that we have to realize all the possibility of obstacles that we might be facing in the future when we are walking down the road together... ... ...
Suddenly, something hits me on my thoughts. Friends around me always said this to me (regarding my view on romance -- of course after the first and last relationship failure) --- "You will never know what is right for you till you give it a try"... Perhaps they are right, why am I so worried? If he's a nice man and will treat me nicer, love and appreciate me better, why not give a chance for him to love me and as well give myself a chance to show him my love and care?
"Giving is always better than taking.."
Ouch, I guess I had finally understand what's going on now.
"You cant always measure the present with the past. The past is bad and had rotten, throw it away. The present is still fresh and why not try to preserve it?"
I felt much relieved now...
Love,
Shin :)
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
"Monday Blues" for the first time...
As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, I knew I will be having the worst illness ever (for a working adult) --> The Popular "Monday Blues". I woke up with a terrible sore throat, a headache and a tired body. I was then thinking, "Can I call Surin now and tell him that I am feeling sick and will be at work only in the afternoon?"... Nah, I tell myself that I can handle it :)
When I arrived at the Kerinchi station, I saw a familiar face at the Mamak Shop nearby. I wasn't wearing my glasses that time but his face was kind of easy to be recognized. Let's just call him Mr.M. I smiled and I was glad that at least he had the courage to lift up his hand and waved to me. I still wasnt comfortable seeing him due to what happened earlier... No, no... dont get me wrong, nothing big happened to us, no fight nor quarell -- it was just confession. He is a very nice guy but I have to tell myself that, there is just no chemistry that I can feel between me and Mr.M. When he confessed to me that he like me, I just broke up with my 2 and a half years romance. I guess the time has finally come to set myself free...
It was never an easy relationship. Both are 2 very different person trying to get along with each other. Things I love to do, he dont have much interest in them or he just dont like me doing it. Things he are good at, I found that I will never live up to his standards -- especially in singing. But overall, one of my lecturer @ friend, Mary said to me when I was chatting to her was... it's amazing that both of us (me and my ex) can be attached together for such a long time and the question in Mary's head was that, "How long could he try to control me?"... I was smiling when she said this to me and we all finally realize that in the end, force cant be used on me, it had to be mutual understanding and trust. Guess the relationship doesnt work out is not because of whoever's fault it was, it was just something about "individual's expectation" and "restriction". Mutual understanding wasnt not working both ways, compromisation was not understood, giving and taking wasnt balance and in the end, and out of all these, one just lose faith in another :)
It can be a very good experience by looking it at a positive point of view, but of coure, you need to realized where's the 'error' was so that next time you wont be making the same error again. I had learnt mine, hope he does :)
Few weeks ago, at last I told myself that, I am at last gain the freedom from within my soul to actually do and achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. I picked up swimming classes now to upgrade myself, I started learning how to knit for those I love, and I started to pick up new languages to spice up my life a bit with people around me, easpecially those from other countries -- "Magandang Gabi! Ako ay si Shin!".. hahahaha... This is all I knew... :P
Ouch, I started to cough already. Hope it wont get worse or else I'll be lloking like a vampire! Hahaha...
Have a nice day everyone!
Love,
Shin :)
When I arrived at the Kerinchi station, I saw a familiar face at the Mamak Shop nearby. I wasn't wearing my glasses that time but his face was kind of easy to be recognized. Let's just call him Mr.M. I smiled and I was glad that at least he had the courage to lift up his hand and waved to me. I still wasnt comfortable seeing him due to what happened earlier... No, no... dont get me wrong, nothing big happened to us, no fight nor quarell -- it was just confession. He is a very nice guy but I have to tell myself that, there is just no chemistry that I can feel between me and Mr.M. When he confessed to me that he like me, I just broke up with my 2 and a half years romance. I guess the time has finally come to set myself free...
It was never an easy relationship. Both are 2 very different person trying to get along with each other. Things I love to do, he dont have much interest in them or he just dont like me doing it. Things he are good at, I found that I will never live up to his standards -- especially in singing. But overall, one of my lecturer @ friend, Mary said to me when I was chatting to her was... it's amazing that both of us (me and my ex) can be attached together for such a long time and the question in Mary's head was that, "How long could he try to control me?"... I was smiling when she said this to me and we all finally realize that in the end, force cant be used on me, it had to be mutual understanding and trust. Guess the relationship doesnt work out is not because of whoever's fault it was, it was just something about "individual's expectation" and "restriction". Mutual understanding wasnt not working both ways, compromisation was not understood, giving and taking wasnt balance and in the end, and out of all these, one just lose faith in another :)
It can be a very good experience by looking it at a positive point of view, but of coure, you need to realized where's the 'error' was so that next time you wont be making the same error again. I had learnt mine, hope he does :)
Few weeks ago, at last I told myself that, I am at last gain the freedom from within my soul to actually do and achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. I picked up swimming classes now to upgrade myself, I started learning how to knit for those I love, and I started to pick up new languages to spice up my life a bit with people around me, easpecially those from other countries -- "Magandang Gabi! Ako ay si Shin!".. hahahaha... This is all I knew... :P
Ouch, I started to cough already. Hope it wont get worse or else I'll be lloking like a vampire! Hahaha...
Have a nice day everyone!
Love,
Shin :)
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