It's kinda funny of having such feelings after such a long time... jealousy? No, i dont think so... Hatered? A lil bit I guess.. Unfairness? Erm, maybe..
I was thinking a while ago about the past 3 years.. Not a single photo of me as his gf were posted anywhere online. When asked why dont you create a friendster account (In hope that he'll share our photos together on the web), he will always telling me that it's a waste of time and it's childish. Surprisingly after we broke up, he got sign up with friendster and facebook.. miracle did happens I guess :P .... even better, almost everytime I log in to my FB, I'll get notified on all the photos he's uploaded -- with all his 'sisters' faces in it. Then the silly me started to think (that's why I said that a lil hatered + unsatisfactory) that, I was just nothing to him all along by comparing to those around him now.. my photos were never shared (the happy photos) by him before which made me feeling neglected now (I mean neglected before but realizing it now)...
Kenneth asked do I wanted to share with him my moodiness that I am having now... I was thinking, it's my silliness and I will handle it by myself, I do not ned to bug anyone for my own problem anymore as I scared that I'll scared everyone away with all my problems sharing.. haha :) Thanks Ken anyway.. :)
Next weekend, we will go climbing again. Hopefully this time he wont ask me to belay him -- he's heavy la.. 65kg and I'm only 49kg :P ... But as usual, he will belay me and maybe Ker Soon will be there too this time and man, he's even heavier! 80kg... so, all the belaying work I'll leave it to Mr.Kenneth :P
His dad asked him about me yesterday (he told me through sms) and of course both of us were stunned for a while when knowing this. I just met his dad coincidently in Seremban over a hiking trip and now I was actually shy when the dad was asking about me, why I didnt go to Seremban anymore... It made me think, my previous relationship, the parents dont even know my existence after few years dating with his son... what a shame on me :S
Oh ok fine... it started to rain again... nice to sleep... but I need to work on my projects planning before I go to work tomorrow :)
Sayonara everyone and wish me luck... I hope I will still be sane ater all this madness in my life :)
Love,
Shin :P
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