Movie Day!

I guess today is the day I watched most movies in my life.. Haha.. Non-stop from afternoon till now while I was skipping, painting, eating, drinking and even blogging :P

Now I am waiting Sherk 3 to start on HBO. Let me list down the movies and also my rating for them :)

1. Transformer -- GREAT!
2. Good Luck Chuck -- Nice Romance
3. Romeo & Juliet -- This is the 90's version, not that good.. but Leonardo simply looks cute (the younger version)
4. Great Expectations -- This is the modern version and it still as great as the novel :)
5. Batman Returns -- BAD but loves Cat Woman
6. Spiderman 3 -- WOW!
7. Lethal Weapon -- Erm... Old movie.. so so :P
8. Men In Black -- Interesting

Ok.. those are the movies I can remembered. I watch them before this but for some of them, they still give the same great feelings to me even after I watched them for so many times :)

There are some movies I am looking forward to watch:

1. Bedtime Stories
2. Four Christmases
3. No Reservation
4. The Spirit
5. Madagascar 2
6. Ice Age 3

Erm... sis was asking me to buy the second hand MyVi that her friend is selling. I'm still weary about it. Hope everything will be ok... :)

Love,
Shin :P -- I need to concentrate watching Sherk the Third now :)

Stop shouting! :(

Woke up and had an apple for my breakfast -- healthy breakfast indeed right? Oh ok ok... what the heck! This was not what I had in my mind at the moment. Something pissed me off 5 minutes ago and I am trying my best to calm down myself now.

Here's the story:

A bunch of kids from the Chinese secondary school dropped by selling tickets for the CNY celebration that they will be having somewhere in February. So, what happened during this lovely bright morning was, I went out to find out what's up with their promotion. So this young boy with 4 or 5 other of his friends were trying ot promote their program. I told them (lied) that my family wont be around during CNY and they boy quickly told me that it's after CNY. So I tell (lied) to them again that I need to ask my mom whether she wanted to go or not. As I stepped in, I really couldn't understand why must she reacted that way in front of outsiders. She started showing her furious face and shouted at me asking me to close the door. It's was like a reflex response that my voice what high and ask her, "Why must you reacted this way??" Then she calm down and start being defensive over it.

The truth is, I will never buy their tickets and I just try to be nice and polite to them. People like mom and some of you who are reading this right now, will never understand how hard it was to do things like what those kids did -- walking from house to house to promote you programs. I had been through it and if you are not going to support them, PLEASE DON'T DISCOURAGE THEM! It's a learning process for them.

So the reason for my mom defense is solely one reason:

• There are a lot of con-man out in the road nowadays. Students? So what? You think students cant be con-men?

The reason she given is acceptable and understandable but, it was the way she reacted and the way she delivered the information is so wrong. I knew how to protect myself. I have brains that will interpret whether thing is wrong or right -- I wont show a big notation mark on my face coz I knew how to deal with it in a better way -- no need for shouting, showing angry face, cursing nor "lock the door!" It made me somewhat repel from this home sometimes. I felt stress of having the need to deal with something I think isnt right. I knew I had been brought up living in this kind of responses and reactions, but for me, things need to be changed!

Was it my problem? Yes, it is my problem. The problem is I had grown up and I am now understand there are better ways to handle a situation rather than reacted in a negative way. Whatever it is, I love my family the way they are although sometimes I am having a hard time living with them. So, I choose to repel -- not completely -- but at times from them. There's just something needs to be changed for our own good.

I felt so much better now. It's never easy to not having anyone for you to share what you are thinking nowadays -- since the break and up.. hahaha... Talking to mom is sometimes useless as either her or me will ended up being upset coz she's from the old school and i'm from the new school. Theories just clashes! Hahaha... :) Love you still mom

Stomach aching..... gtg... :P

Love,
Shin :P

Snap.. snap! = Shorter Hair :P

At last! Had my hair cut shorter today and of course my head felt lighter too :)
I had curled my hair few months ago -- sort of like an experiment which I tried once in a while but in the end I found out that I still prefer to be straight hair :)

• Wavy a.k.a full volume hair = more mature looking and sexy in a way you look at it. This hairstyle gives your hair some texture especially when you let go of it
• Straight a.k.a plain = easier to manage and of course younger looking. I felt absolute free-spirit having a straight hair

The hairdresser was good (a friend of my mom) but one thing that disgust me was that the heat used by her on my hair was unacceptable! I can see my hair producing smoke! Ouch! And it's burning my skin too when I had stopped her and ask her to lower the heat.. Thank God the hairdryer's heat level can be adjust (the modern version of the old one.. hahahah :P)

Going to continue painting the staircases later -- the steel beam this time. Later in the evening will be the house gate's turn again. It looks so nice in the Citrus Yellow color. Dont worry as I will post on some new photo of the gate soon.. haha...

As usual, my cat will be guarding me doing my painting job again.. argh.. as if this house is his! Hahaha...

Love,
Shin :P

Painting Job by Professional, Shin the Painter!

OH GREAT!

When I started to paint the house gate and suddenly under the sunny and bright sun, it started to RAIN!! Great! But dont worry, I'm still feeling sunny and happy beause... my Baby (cat) was there accompanying me with his weird way of sunbathing.. haha.. This cat never scared of water and sun. He always sunbath under the hot sun and when it started to rain, he dont bother about it till it got heavier.. haha... This is indeed one special cat I have :)

Had a jam-pack day today:

• 9.45am -- went out to town on my bike (alone with 70mph :P) to withdraw some money and to check my account at the EPF branch office.
• 10.10am -- arrived at the Registrar Office to renew my IC (Identity Card). The reason behind this renewal was because I had been ask by police, airlines counter as well as my insurance agent to get it change. Why? The photo on the IC just dont look like me NOW! Haha.. I was short hair (boyish look -- Extreme shortness) back then when I made that IC and not my hair is probably 20x longer than it was! Haha... I'm glad at last I had the chance to renew it. HOWEVER! The guy flatten my photo and my face looks rounder as I already is! OMG! Hahaha :P
• 11.00am -- bump into a teacher of mine when I finished my IC renewal (only manage to get it somewhere in March 2009 :(... ) . We had a long chat on how everyone is, how's life, work and etc. Nice seeing him again! :)
• 11.45am -- got back home and was having stomack ache -- off go the toilet :P
• 12.15pm -- had lunch = potatoes and fish and rice ... nyum nyum
• 12.35pm -- went out with mum to the bank and then headed to the shop selling paint. I bought 3 cans of paint (Citrus Yellow, Rose White and... erm... I couldnt recall the name of the 3rd one, it looks like papaya color :P)... all cost me around RM140 (together with mom's fertilizer for the vegetables :)... there goes my money ... haha
• 1.10pm -- gpt back home and started to paint the staircases... it was tiring

And now when I had stop because of the rain, guess what... the rain had stopped! Ok ok.. I better get out there and continue painting the gate or else I'll stop entirely.. Haha... Lazy pig me...

There's something keep popping in my mind when I was doing the painting.. I was imagining the time when I was doing house chores with the one I love, it must be lots of fun! Hahaha... silly me.. it will never happen :)

OK, got to go!

Will be back -- painting now!
Shin :P

Killer...

The conversation with him was dreadful... I felt so bad. I felt like I was the killer of something so good... But, it is just so out of my reach..

Once, I had wanted so much for My ex to sacrifices something for me.. sacrifices anything -- either to come over to work in West M'sia or to drop his ego a little bit or whatever.. but it never happened. Now, when there is someone who are willing to do all that for me (maybe), big sacrifices that we all might never think of, my heart just got scared and worried... I don't want to be the one who take away all the happiness from him and letting him to realize the feeling of regrets coming to haunt him later. So, I had explained to him of all the possibilities -- the possibilities of things go wrong.. Hope he just understand why I do so...

Feeling bad now... I guess I'll just dooz-off for the night..

God bless us all..

Love,
Shin :)

Christmas Day = Rainy Day... Where's the sunny girl? Hahaha..

As I opened my eyes, there was this sweet tingling sensation in my heart -- I had a good dream, one that I had been longing on to happen in reality. What I can still recall from the dream was that there were 4 of us, friends hanging out together at Danny's Kopitiam... But I couldnt no longer remember the faces in the dream..

Indeed, I had lots of friends around me -- some from childhood till now and some I encounter during my Uni life and working life nowadays.. Some had been very good friends to me till now and some had just slipped away with their own new life :) I'm glad to still has friend like Ken Mee around coz he's the one I had not lost contact with since I had gone so far away for my studies :) Thanks pal...

I do admit that I had better friendships with they guys rather than some girls -- maybe because sometimes I dont know how to keep up with the ladies as they seems to be so up and trendy and I'm just in my plain jeans and t-shirt. They just look their prettiest no matter when it is and I would just prefer to be laid back and comfortable. Guess I envy their beauty and looks? Haha.. maybe and maybe not.. Guess 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' makes sense to me :P

Today is one of my childhood friend's engagement. Fara is one of those friends I knew since Primary school till now and we keep in touch with each other whenever it's possible. She had been dating her fiancee, Ezany for almost 5 years now and a part of my envy and is very happy for them too. How hard it is to retained a relationship is never easy for everyone to understand unless you had been in one before :)

So far, I have more then 5 friends who got married already. Sometimes silly thoughts came through me too on when will it be my turn? 5 years from now? 8 years from now? 10 years? Or I'll just be with myself all the time? Hahaha... It doesnt really bothers me that much yet. Afterall, marriage is just a piece of paper wth 2 signatures on it -- the emotional and spiritual bond between the 2 persons are more important for me :)

I didnt manage to make it to the engagement coz it had been raining since 6am till now, 12.47pm. I dont have a car and was planning to ride my scooter over -- since it's raining, plan cancelled and I'd drop her a message saying sorry and congratulations too! :) Hope they will make it through till their wedding then I'll definately will attend the ceremony :)

Kind of bored at home since it's raining -- I couldnt bath my dogs or else they will catch a cold hahaha.. I cant do my gardening and maybe I can get hold on some in house chores :)

Rainy day reminds me of Vincent calling me a Sunny Girl. Guess the sunny just not strong enough today that's why it started to rain so heavily!! Haih... :P

Ok, got to have my lunch now! Curry chicken! Yay!

Merry Christmas,
Shin :)

p/s: Happy Birthday to Sim and Hian Chung!

Lunch = Cancelled... But a great day still :)

Ouch! Our team didn't manage to had lunch together today coz Vachala wasn't free -- she had something on. The lunch was reschedule to next Wednesday, 31st Dec (New Year's Eve) :)
So, what I did was I spent my lunch with Dilla at the KLCC food court where she had McD and I had my Japanese food :P

Earlier a friend had asked me to join him to MidValley for shopping. I wasnt that familiar with the place yet so I insisted that I wanted to go over to KLCC instead. Of course, MidValley has something I cant resist -- The Pet's World -- but I have to say NO this time round coz a quality time hanging out with my buddy is better :)

It was quite shocking that on a usual working day like today, the mall was jam-pack with human (Human? As if I'm not one :P) hahaha.. Maybe because today is Christmas Eve, people are out doing their last minute shopping :)

I did my shopping too -- Giordano. It was a great bargain because they were having this 50% discount on purchase of 2 items and above. So, at first I bought a pair of low raise boot cut jeans which is RM169. Then the girl ask me to pick another item, so I got a blue color stripes shirt which is RM69. Here's the best part of the bargain, instead of paying RM169 + RM69 = RM238... I only need to pay RM119 for both the items... I saved RM119!! Great. If I am a billionaire, I guess I'll buy each of every item in the store! Hahaha...

The ride back to Raub in the bus was tiring, especially when I am carrying home my notebook.. Luckily, I had my Twilight novel with me (so far, I am onl manage to read till chapter 11 due to hectic time at work and exhausted body after work :P), and of course the iPod. After half an hour concentrating on the book, I doozed off... I was then awaken by the vibration of my phone -- it's was a message from Vincent and Dilla. One was asking whether am I sleeping in the bus and the latter was asking how much I bought my Twilight novel.. hahaha... Guess I am lucky today to have them accompanied me (virtually) till I reached Raub :P

Home as usual, is always warm -- a place where I spent most of my childhood with :) Mom at the door welcoming me home will Popeye (my dog) keep jumping up and down when he saw me :).. Last but not least, Baby (my cat) came running in from I dont know where and I lifted him up and hug him into the house.. He was lighter than last weekend I guess and smells good too.. emmm... maybe Mom had just bathed him :)

There's something weird about my cat. Whenever my Mom does prayers in the morning or evening, he will rush over and sit next to the prayer table... Mom said he loves to pray for us (me and my other siblings) too -- for us to be safe and healthy working outside :P

Tonight is Christmas Eve -- tomorrow = CHRISTMAS!! Hereby, I'm taking this opportunity to wish everyone, Merry Christmas!

The Replacement Santa Rina,
Shin :P

Smile = Something I'm good at? MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!

Today, a conversation with a friend reminded me of how much I had changed.. not to worse fortunately, it's to a better me.. It reminded me of how much I enjoy SMILING nowadays compare to few years ago...

I never like taking photographs when I was around Form 1 (13 years of age) till I reached 18 years old. I will always hide nor give excuses of not to be included into the photo session wen one come nearby. Reason? I considered myself want as pretty and attractive as my other girl friends. Back at time, I will always think that I would look ugly or horrible in the photo so I prefer not to be in it. Maybe it's because I always look like a boy -- with my super short haircut and boyish outlook (no! I'm not a tomboy.. I just felt more comfortable of being in that way that time). So, I just drift away without much photos of my teenage life with friends... :(

Then when I reached 18, it was during my Form 6 years that I truly enjoy taking pictures. Every of the pictures that you can see then was a big smile from me. I enjoyed taking photos then especially with some of my buddies and we just act silly in most of the photos which made us laugh so much till now. Then it comes to one day that my mom's friend commented on my smile and I can still remember what she said...

"Oh, is this your youngest daughter? She had grown up so much and definitely prettier now (I didn't tokok tambah ah, this is definitely what she commented :P). Your daughter smile is beautiful too, she had a pretty and bright smile" Then she smile to me... I remember this because it was the first direct and happy comment I had after so many years of me growing up with all these old folks. There's another friend of my mom, who's a hawker during Pasar Malam too gave the similar comments... Then when I look back and think about it, it's actually something I should be proud of, my SMILE :)

I used to remember how much my ex love to see me smile. I guess it was my smile that had attracted to him at the first place. Guess it's no longer important. :)

Today, this friend had reminded me to keep smiling no matter what happened and it actually gave a knock on the head that, I had forgotten what I am good at naturally -- smiling :) Sometimes, I smiled too much that it made me tired and my face just become static.. hahaha... There were few times that my face cramp because of smling too much during photo sessions... hahaha..

Ok ok, enough with smiling... today was a very bright sunny day too! At 6.00pm the sun was still shining bright and hot as it was in the afternoon. This reminds me of the song "My Girl" -- 'You're my sunshine, on a sunny day.." :P

I received a surprise today from Vincent. Early in the morning, he came over to my desk (he was expecting me not to be in office yet) and handed over a paper Isetan bag to me, of course the screw drivers that I had requested to fix the courier scanners too. I said thanks to him and he left. When I open the bag, there was this cute little golden teddy bear tied to this box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates :) It a Christmas present from him... This is the 3rd Christmas present I received from people around me...

1. A pretty card holder from Jessica, my ex-HR senior :)
2. A pretty silver bracelet from Ric and of course a card :)
3. A cute little bear and chocolates from Vincent, my IT friend :)

Guess I am blessed for this christmas. For the past few years, I never received any Christmas gift from anyone, only cards from Lydia, and no one else... I myself would have sent out dozens of cards for the festive seasons only to be forgotten in the end, even those that was just by my side at that moment :P.. hahaha... past is past.. let it be...

Going back to Raub tomorrow after work -- DHL is having a half day work day during festive season's eve and since it's Christmas eve, we can go home earlier :) My team will be having a lunch outing tomorrow, not sure where we'll be going but come to think of it, most probably would be to Banana Leaf coz Vachala is a vegetarian. I'm fine with Banana Leaf coz Indian food is just my favorite! :P Spicy and hot! Wow... I'm hungry already :P

Ric asked me what will I be doing during this holiday (I took leave on the 26th too :P), so below is the list..

1. Paint the house gate into Apple Green color -- hope Mom will agree with me
2. Renew my ID card and Mom's birth certificate -- gotta look pretty in the photo shot! Haha
3. Go jogging every evening -- have to keep myself fit!
4. Plant some vegetables for CNY -- maybe some onions and salads and tomato and lady's fingers and spinach and.... too much for that little piece of land :P
5. Bath my dogs -- Popeye and his mom, MoiMoi :P
6. Wash MoiMoi's cage -- ewww!!!
7. Play with Baby, my cat :)
8. And last but not least, the most important one of all --> take Mom out for a Western food dinner --- nyum nyum... :)

Ok, that's all I guess. Anyway, my brother in law, Andy's parents are here and I just love to have them around coz they will chit chat with me! :P

Alright, my fingers are tired already and I'll stop here now. Take care ya all!

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!!!

May Santa Clause visit you soon (in your dreams of course!) Hahahaha...

Naughty but with love,
Shin :P

Weird Feelings...

The song play and I started to feel weird... Weird in the sense that it wasn't comfortable. It was not the feeling I ever wish that I had in my life. I never like it and I never invited it into my life but it just came without warning -- the feeling of.. Being LONELY...

I step out from the train, not the destination I was suppose to go to, but it just a impulse from my head that it moves my body out from the train. I suppose to go home directly after work and get down at Taman Bahagia station, but just 3 stations before it, I arrived at Taman Jaya station.. Without a sense of direction where I am heading to with my iPod still stuck in both my ears, I slowly walking towards the A&W outlet nearby and had a quick dinner there.

As I finished, that song played again.. the song caused the weird feeling to attack me. I felt lonely within myself and started to felt envy when I saw couples holding each other hands and sharing laughter and warmth. A part of me reminded me of something I had before, not necessarily a good one but at least, I shared the warmth before. However, the another part of me was reminding me of something more important and the feelings was stronger... It remind myself not to hurt myself anymore. It tells me that being alone is fine, it could be better than letting people to invade your life again..

Arrggghh... what the heck! I took of the iPod and off it, place it back into my handbag and boarded the next train back home.

These feelings were indeed weird and I dont like it...

Today, we had a special visitor. Her name is Inaz (I think I spelled it correctly), she was the previous co-ordinator for our department. I couldnt recall whether I had seen her before but today (after I had see her :P) it was indeed an eye opening experience! Hahaha..

Her voice was definately easy to be recognized from far. As I see this lady walking into the department, "Oh, so.. that's Inaz?" Hahaha... She dont look like a Malay lady, probably the way she dress is more attractive than any of us in the office. A torquise dress which able to show everyone her hour-glass body shape with a shoulder length haricut -- perhaps she can be attracive to some people (guys) :P

Then there was this fellar (let's call him Mr. SV), he was oggling at her breast while Inaz was talking to him. OMG, I couldnt believe there is such human being exist in my office and I was then more freak out of this guy. Maybe it's a natural response from me, but since that day he stared at me in an inappropriate way, I had been trying to ignore him. When he walk towards the photocopy machine, deep inside my heart I always pray to God "Please dont let him come near me!" Hahahaha... Dont laugh! It always better to prevent than to regret later.. :) But luckily, my signs are enough to make him understand that "Dont go near Shin, she's dangerous!" :P

Haha.. Today Vincent came over to my desk to pass me the screw driver and the HP diary when I was out for lunch with my team and poor guy, he got teased by Ms. Anum again.. haha.. Anum Anum... dont scare my friend away k.. I was guessing, maybe Anum likes him.. hehe... too bad tak sama channel..

Ric sprained his ankel today, and I hope he's fine now. We didnt talk much this few days and it made me felt strange too. :) We are still good friends... good friends that not much could understand... I just hope his ankel wont get swollen and hope he can walk just fine.. Merry Christmas super sexy gentleman! hahaha... I'm sure he'll smile once he read this special phrase.

Dilla, I was kinda worried about her too.. of what she's going through right now. I hope she will be fine soon. I'm not dare to ask much, I just want her to be relax and happy. I will always be there for her if she needed someone to talk to. Promise! :)

Mun Wai, hope he'll be ok soon with his gf too. He's been having this dilemma with his gf's family. I just hope he understand what he wants and dont make stupid mistakes which will make him regret for the rest of his life. 4 years of relationship is never easy -- even for me, 2 and a half years of relationship really needs a lot of strong determination and courage to let it go and most importantly, to forgive it.. I was regret.. Regreted that I had a failed relationship... :)

Ouch.. with all these commotions, I guess I am sleepy already and I am definately exhausted!
Have fun ya all...

Love,
Shin :P

I miss her...

"Hello?"
"Hello, B ah?"
"Ah'a, sis?"
"You guys still at home? Haven't come back yet?"
"No, not yet. Bro Jea Hoe said we'll leave at 7pm later"
"Ok then. So, you guys will eat before leaving right?"
"Yup"
"OK"
"Bye sis".....

I felt a sudden of happiness within me when I heard my sis called me 'Ah B' over the phone. It's been a long time since she had called me by that and to talk to me in that voice I had been missing so much till now. After a while of letting go and ignorance, I had realized that, it's been quite a long time we had never spoken to each other face to face nor in phone conversation. Everything was just silence and few sms for a month -- that's how we communicate.

She is my big sister -- she used to decide everything in my life and she was my inspiration and motivation. She was so good in everything that I look up on her from my childhood till I was sane enough to make my own decision. Anywa, for ya information, our age gap is 10 years :)

I still remember that when I was younger, I used to received birthday cards, christmas gifts and some good luck cards every year and during my every major examinations. I still remember and kept all those things she gave me -- simple but meaningful to me. I remember there was this long rabbit card she gave me during my 12th birthday and also a good luck card for my UPSR that year... I received a big Pink Piggy soft toy during 2005 Valentines' Day -- my first Valentines' present ever... I love it so much..

But... I guess everything had changed now...

On my way back from Raub to KL, while I was risking my life with my brother terrible driving (the speed and ignorance of safety), my eyes were actually full with tears when I thought of my sister -- I realized how much I miss her everyday, the moments as sisters that we had spent once. Altough we see each other everyday (coz we are living in the same house), but the feeling I get from her was different -- I fear of her, I felt totally stranger in this house, I dont know how to face her after all those methods I had tried earlier (when I just got here in KL). Everything failed earlier which makes me afraid to approach her again. So, I had chosen to just closed one of my eyes and let it be...

I guess no one would understand how I felt -- as I had shared this with the one I cared and love so much before, but the critics to me was that I'm just silly to be bothered by this. I just want to let the person know, she is my sister...

One thing for sure, I thank God for blessing me with her. Without her, I dont think I can continue my studies as I had if I was hoping for help from my 2 brothers.. Without her, I dont think this is the place I'll be now...

I just hope she know and understand that I love her as much before. Nothing had changed...

Love,
Shin

Lagu Kita - Aizat : I love it! :)

Morning everyone, guess some of you have not waken up yet when I am writting this. Nevermind, keep on sleeping though :P

Just finished my routine Saturday early morning swimming practise (why early? Coz I dont want people to see me flapping like a drowning duck in the pool :P). Today can be said there's some improvement too coz I managed to hold my breath longer than I thought I can and today I started to analayze the correct way of doing the frog style (ong ge dek ge dek).. haha.. Overall = tired but fun in the water!

But one thing for sure, since last night till now my head keep on replaying a song in my head -- Lagu Kita by Aizat (AF5). His voice was indeed alluring and charming (please dont look at his face -- no no, nothing wrong with his face but it just doesnt match with your imagination :P), the lyrics of this songs was indeed surperb. I learnt from the person who transfer me this song (illegally during office hour :P), Mr. Faeez Rezal that Aizat wrote this song when he was still unknown to the world and when he admire a girl. He wrote this song to her and then start singing it to the world when he got famous! Below are the lyrics and you can try to search for the song to download or you can just drop me a comment and I can send to you :) Hope you guys will like it as I do.. Ouch.. Have to back to office to take my notebook then to the bus stop --> going back Raub later :)

Deras hatiku berdetak
Di langit aku terlihat kamu
Terang malam teman kita
Dengan angin meniup sayu

Kupetik gitar akustik ini
Dengan harapan dia mendengar
Melodi indah yang kucipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Dan aku terus
Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu
Walau berjuta mendengar
Lagu ini hanya untukmu

Arah hidup kita
Tergambar bintang di angkasa
Berkelip melukis cinta
[ Lagu Kita lyric found on www.lirik.tv ]
Terciptalah lagu kita

Oh..oh..oh
Oh..oh..oooh

Melodi indah yang kucipta
Hanya untuk luahkan rinduku padanya

Dan aku terus
Menyanyi lagu ini untukmu
Walau berjuta mendengar
Lagu ini hanya untukmu

Arah hidup kita
Tergambar bintang di angkasa
Berkelip melukis cinta
Terciptalah lagu kita

Terciptalah lagu kita


Love,
Shin :)

Weird morning --> Tired evening!

I came across this news about Government allocating fund to help unemployed undergraduates..

"RM70mil to retrain jobless grads"

This was the title of the news in TheStar Online. It got my attention and my brain started to function to the max! Hahaha..

Come to think of it, I'm an undergraduate too but I am lucky enough that I wasnt unemployed. I am happily working in a company which I enjoy very much, DHL Express. My boss, Surin always asked me, "So, any new jobs outside?" or "Eh, are you spying on any other jobs ka?"... Haha, these are the questions he would always asked me when he's too bored..

That day, he asked me about how my other friends are doing now after graduation -- working or not? Some of them are definately working and some of them are obviously having fun staying back at home (just that sometimes I couldnt understand what are they thinking).. Let me see...

• Shin -- DHL Express
• Dilla -- Rissk.com
• Lydia -- Maybank
• Yen -- CIMB
• Zer Soon -- working but couldnt recall where
• Xin Ling -- working
• Sim -- working
• Fiqah -- working
• Foo -- not working yet
• Mimi -- planning to further study
• Mary -- not sure
• Sarah -- not working
• Syida -- working
• Kam -- Internship
• Anas -- not sure working or Internship
• Mal -- Internship
• Hasrul -- working
• Hanapi -- working
• Rozy -- working
• Li Cui -- working

The others? I had no idea... We seldom keep in touch, only Dilla. She's like a close friend to me so we would hang out whenever we can. Lydia, we used to be, but now, we just seems so far away from each other. Maybe I might hang out with Mal somewhere in Jan 09 :P

This morning started in a weird way. I was walking from the LRT station to my office where suddenly this fellar seems like he's trying to catch up my pace. I do admit that I walk kinda fast but was is that fast? Ok, to cut it short, he interrupted me when I was in the middle of my iPod mood and introduced himself. He said that he's from Accenture and asked for my email. So, what the heck, I gave him my DHL email add of course. I do not want him to bug me in my private life so DHL email would do. After few hours, te first email from this guy came in. I still couldnt recall his name. I dont even bother to reply too coz in my head, I still think it's weird! Hahaha.. Then I told Faeez and Vincent about this over Skype and as expected -- Faeez will laugh like hell. This fellar really makes me pening and I wonder how he take care of his little kid at home! Hahaha... maybe because of his cartoonic characteristic that got the little boy entertained! Hopefully he wont grow up like his cartoonic dad! Hahaha... opppsss, sorry Faeez..

Ok, so today I went over to IT to investigate on some faulty couriers scanners issue and about Maxis GPRS and GSM network connection problem (The engineer from Maxis was cute -- Shakir :P). Fine fine... So, the first person I saw is C and Faeez assumed that I wont even look at C nor great him. "Apalah, so what if C is there in your department? Be professional la.. Aku ni terima gaji to be professional, kalau tak reputation spoiled!" I answered Faeez.. Hahaha... so, he was satisfied with my answer because I greeted C as usual and talk like usual, pretend nothing happened. Business is just business. Dont take it too personally :P

An hour before work finish, OMG... 2 reweigh machines in EKL (Jln Ipoh) and EPJ (Glenmarie) was down (means = rosak!).. the consequences = reweigh manually! "No choice guys, you have to deal with it for tonight and throughout the weekend coz the vendor will only be in on Monday to fix it! If I were the genius and knew how to fix it, maybe you guys could start your manisfesting sharp on time... but too bad, I dont know how to fix it :P" as I said to Yogan (EPJ supervisor) and he just sounded so down. So, we have a lousy vendor appointed by RO -- we couldnt do anything at the moment. Luckily, the vendor Andrew was kinda close to me coz I always deal with him through the phone (though we just met once in Menara TM). It's easy to talk to him. Perhaps, my soft skills are not bad eh :P I can easily communicate with people and I felt blessed! Haha

Time for dinner and novel... Take care ya all!

Love,
Shin

Better point your finger somewhere else!

The lesson I learnt today is -- no matter how people try to act kind and summarize some shit email to you, you still have to read back from A to Z.. DONT EVER TRUST THAT LOUSY SUMMARY THAT YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHETHER IT"S CORRECT OR NOT!!!!

Ok, here's the story... This guy name C (censored k, haha) forward me a mail with his summary stating that there will be a downtime for the declaration system due to some data migration process to the server from the Putrajaya Customs... what the heck... ok.. He asked me to inform all my users -- who are the gateways managers and supervisors. From his email, his summarization was as below:

Date : 20 Dec 2008 (Saturday)
Time : 6.00am - 12.00pm

Ok, when you see the time, how are you going to calculate the period of hours of the downtime? Definately for a sane people and with enough IQ and EQ, I would say 6 hours only! Coz it's 6 o'clock in the morning (AM) till 12 o'clock in the afternoon (coz it's PM!)..

Then this 'smart Alleck' said "Ah Moi, you salah la! Bukan 6 hours! Sampai midnite la, 12 midnite!" I can tell you honestly from the moment I heard this and after all the shit I had sent out to everyone throughout DHL, my mouth just trying hard to say out a word "Kanasai!" to him. Darn it! You pandai pandai 'smart Alleck' summarized there till 12PM, and now you told me I pulak silap!

Ok, so the conclusion was, I ran back to my place from the IT department to National Ops and recall all those emails that had been sent out! Can you imagine how many people working in Ops and how long was the distribution list?? I can only manage to recalled back 71 emails that had been sent! I hate when things like this happened because it made me look stupid! Ok, I did look stupid for today and I learnt my lesson but I just couldnt stop myself to point out his error, HIS OWN MISTAKES!!

"I would prefer you to just forward me those emails next time without the need of you summarizing it as I DO NOT WANT TO BE LAZY OF READING EMAILS AGAIN. Thanks C!" -- This was what I wrote to him. Argh!!! And he caused me to be late for lunch and my blood pressure went high! Huh.. Luckily Faeez (the IT joker) and Vincent (the HP guy) cool me down.. Not forgetting Madam Vach too... If not I'm scared that I'll drag him to the toilet and flush his head down the toilet! Hahaha... Shin Khai is going insane already...

Ok Ok... What am I trying to say here is... Efficient and effective information transmission in crucial in an organization. You need to transmit the correct information in order for the next process to be smooth and without any backlog. The reason you summarized the thing is to make things easier and let the info go out to the users faster -- if you had already summarized it, no point for me to read all over again the emails from sender A to Z.. rite?

Secondly, never point finger to anyone when issues occur -- it's not a big issue, we can settle it just a snap, why you had to say out things that make everyone feel bad. Why when something wrong, IT must always say that it Ops who caused it? Eh, com'on.. Ops are your clients / customers / users -- IT serve them! You had to help them! Dont always blame them, but instead, please educate them. That's why us, the Operation Programs Team is here to liase with everyone, we want our guys on the floor to be as wise as any IT expert too (but of course their main expertise must be i shipment handling :P)... Dont kedekut ilmu and look down on them though you sit in the office in aircond where they are working in the warehouse.. They can be more successful than any of us if they wan!

Thirdly, this is the hardest one.... Dont trust any summary!!! Go through anything by yourself and make your own summary!! Hahahaha...

Ok, last but not least -- never be late for your lunch coz that's the time for you to wind up! :P
Have fun guys -- reading and cursing!

Love,
Shin

No No No... You shouldnt do that!

Today, let me make a list of things which I found inappropriate to do in public :P

In The Public:

• When in the LRT a.k.a train, you shouldnt lean against any places that other passangers might need to hold on to. What are you thinking? You think you own this train?! Go buy your own if you wanted to do so...
• You shouldn't open your mouth big when yawning... unless if you produce rose or jasmine like breath! If not, please shut your mouth -- it stinks!!
• When in the train, can please stop moving so much. Why? You make others uncomfortable by keep on banging them here and there.
• You dont have to talk so loud when you are in the lift! Everyone can hear you already what you are gossiping about.. duh
• Were you blind or you just dont understand the sign board? When using the escalator, please stand on the left hand side only! The right hand side is for people to cut through just in case when they are in a hurry. I just couldnt understand why you have to be such a not-intelligent and no-common sense kind of person... duh
• Your gf or bf wont get lost if you just let go your hand a while when in the train. Stop grabbing her butts too, if you insist to, please do it secretly without us nitocing your fat hand doing so. I once saw this girl was sitting and hugging her bf's leg while he was standing, and I was thinking, was she sick? Haih...
• Stand up already when you see a pregnant lady in the train. I cant believe your heart is cold enough to ler her stand for 9 stops. Wait till yourself got pregnant next time then you'll know the pain!
• Stop talking shit in the public! Vulgar words are just so toxic when you started to say it happily in the public. The ears are burning ya know! Where's the manners that you learnt before or, did you learnt any??

Oh... I'm tired of all these already and my head is spinning when thinking of all these silly human being.. haha... I am just so cruel tonight! Haha... C ya guys later... be back in a flash (I'll go have my dinner :P)

Hungry,
Shin :P

Sluggish + Annoyed Day = Tired! :P

Feeling a bit sluggish today, maybe because I had my lunch late and was rushing to Kinokuniya for my Twilight novel.

Was a bit disappointed at first when the girl handed me the book -- it was not the cover I wanted. The one I wanted is with the hand holding a red apple, not this movie characters cover. However, as soon as I saw Edward Cullen's face (Robert Pattinson), "Oh well, nevermind, the face worth my 48 bucks!" :)


It has been a long time since my last novel, maybe 2 years ago and what a pity... I should have enjoy my readings as a teenager with all the bewildered imaginations... haha.. I guess it's never to late to start now. I had already started reading Twilight where the Preface was really something I love. The words and the expressions the author is trying tell was nicely put down with words. My heart beats increase as I read on...

So much of a fantasy and let's come back to reality...

Was annoyed and frustrated with some people in the company today. Who they think we are? Some people that work to get your POs for you? Why can't you just get them from the vendors yourself. I have better things to do than all these nonsense. What to do, they rely on us too much.. haha.. Then there were this few annoying emails sent by few person which I wish to knock on their head now!

I recalled something that Yen asked me the other day when I told her that I am going to watch Bolt alone. "Are you crazy? If I were to watch movie or to go anywhere (shopping) alone, I rather stay back at home. I felt embarrassed!" This was what she said. For me, com'on.. What the heck! You dont live for others, you live for yourself! If you are not going to enjoy yourself even when you are by yourself, then how are you going to survive when something happened and you need to face it alone? You hide or you just run away?

I felt 100% comfortable walking alone -- doing window shopping, watching movie, going to the Aquaria or even dining in Chili's or Nando's alone. So what? The differences between being alone and being accompanied by someone is just -- voices. You'll get someone to talk to and laugh with when you're not alone strolling along the road, but dont you realized that sometimes you get a piece of mind when you be alone by yourself?

I love being around with people that know how to have fun and being crazy (of course there are limitations) and I cant denied that sometimes, I am extremely loving to be alone -- where I'll have a piece of mind and relax my soul. What is so embarrasing when you are loving the independence you have? :) For me, it was superb.

Independence here means:

1. There is no limitations to your ability
2. You are strong
   
3. The courage within you to face the world and challenges are great
4. You are learning more than imitating others
5. You make your own life decision -- no one should stop you from anything good
   
6. And most of all... it means you love yourself more now...

"Do not under estimate yourself coz everyone has boundless potential" -- this was something i grabbed from Sean's caption in MSN. I feel good reading it...

Prayer for today:
'Hope I will get a peaceful day tomorrow and a sweet dreams with my vampire Edward :P'

Love,
Shin

My new Prince -- Robert Pattinson a.k.a Edward Cullen --> Review!

Ladies and gentlemen, here are some good review on my new found Prince -- the Mr. Vampire, Edward Cullen

Yamuna Sharmini Manikam, Perak

MY first vampire was Lestat. I was 12 and screaming when I heard Tom Cruise AND Brad Pitt AND Christian Slater were going to be in the same movie. Of course, Interview with the Vampire was subsequently banned in Malaysia, so I had to wait five years (FIVE!) until I finally saw the movie on DVD. The beauty of Louis and Lestat unfolded on the screen and I was forever hooked onto vampirism … or more specifically, on cute guys who play vampires.

During my teenage years, I never missed a single episode of Angel. It was not because Angel was such a sexy, hunk of a vampire, but because the show itself was so witty.

My favourite character was not even the resident vampire, it was the demon hunter Wesley (got a thing for nerds too, but that’s a different story!). I also pursued my vampires in written words. Anne Rice became a staple in my library as did Bram Stoker. I think of myself as a (ahem!) serious reader; I would never read the hormonally-charged young adult books. All that changed around Christmas last year when I came across a book at my local bookstore.

Vampire. Gorgeous. Teenage. Love.

The book was called Twilight and the rest was history.

So my favourite vampires are Angel and Edward Cullen.

Angel has the wittiest lines in the show and, yeah, he looks absolutely yummy in his black leather trench coat. He was the classic bad boy, evil to the T, until he was cursed and had his soul restored to him. He is kind of like a working-class vampire, in the sense that he has to work hard to attain happiness.

As a healthy, hormone-driven 21st century female, I have to admit that Edward is not exactly my favourite vampire in Twilight (I prefer Jasper Hale, actually).

But the casting of Robert Pattinson, made Edward one of my favourites.

If Angel is the working-class vampire then Edward is definitely the prince of all literary vampires. Think of a supernatural version of Prince William, whom every girl wants to be with.

I think it should be obvious that I actually prefer Edward to Angel, but that is just because Robert Pattinson is so beautiful (the only word I can think of that does any justice to the guy!). Vampires are the supernatural bad boys every girl dreams of being with and eventually domesticating … though how much fun would it be after you have taken the edge off them?! So, let me have my vampires with all their flaws and bite intact, thank you very much.

Bite me, Ed

MY friends think I’m obsessed; my family thinks I’m out of my mind. Why? Because my thoughts have been revolving around the one and only Edward Cullen. If I were to meet Edward, I would willingly enter vampirehood in a heartbeat. So what if he is dead?

Edward Cullen is the hottest man(pire) in town. No other vampire can beat that. (In this century or the next!) What is it about Edward that makes my blood race? He is awesomely good looking; is a “vegetarian”; has good taste in music; owns pretty amazing cars. And he can read minds. Aish … definitely a man of every female dream. Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise? NO WAY!!! They are so last century!

begumbest, Taiping, Perak

So, please wait for the sequel 'New Moon'... Cant wait to see Robert plays Edward on screen again! :P

Sold Out!!?? Are you kidding me!?!

I went to the Kinokuniya bookstore to look for the Twlight novel by Stephanie Meyer, but guess it's just not my luck... all of it had been sold out and they need to re-order the book. I felt so frustrated of not getting my hands on any of those novels -- darn it!

I watched Bolt earlier before I went to the bookstore. The story was great! I went alone and the seat I book was indeed great as I got the best seat to view the screen. I had fun watching the animation and hehehe... I cried at the end of the story coz it was so touching.

It was hard for Bolt to accept the reality that he wasnt any Superdog as he thought he always was -- no superpower such as the super strength and SUPER BARK! Hahaha... There's this cat character in the story too, her name is Merlin and I like this character very much. She was a straycat and the funniest part was that she made all these stupid pegions to work for her by getting food (daily) for her.. hahaha... And I dont quite like the hamster character, erm... what was his name... Rhino or Hippo? erm... dont bother..

As usual, today KLCC is still jam pack with human!! But today I saw the Santa Claus! Too bad I didnt bring my camera with me and no friend were around to help me take a photo with Mr.Santa... :)

Merry Christmas ya' all. I'll be uploading my pics of yesterdat outing with friends soon :P

Love,
Shin

Twilight... I love it soooo much!

My heart still gets the shiver everythime when I recall the scenes from the movie, 'Twilight'... It's a feeling that's very special and yet unreal to one's life... but I wouldnt mind to be that girl in the movie to have exactly the life she had in the story...

I still remember that the last time I had the same feeling of watching a movie, was when I watched Cruel Intentions on HBO.

Of course, both the story was different as Cruel Intentions ended in a tragic way where Ryan Phillipe died hit by a car when trying to say Resse Whiterspoon, as for Twilight, the ending seems unclear -- what happened to them next?

But I indeed fell in love with both the actor of this 2 movies -- Ryan in Cruel Intentions and Robert Pattinson in Twilight. Although Robert looks scary with his fair complexion, but he's hot and very masculin. Guess all the westerners are from the same traits -- tall, deep eyes, nice lips :P and with a broad shoulders...

Like all the vampires in the Twilight series, Edward is described by Bella as being impossibly beautiful. At various points in the series, she compares him to the mythical Greek god Adonis. His skin is "like marble"—very pale, ice cold, and sparkles in the sunlight. She describes his facial features as being perfect and angular—high cheekbones, strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips. His hair, which is always messy, retains the unusual bronze shade that he inherited in his human life from his biological mother. His eyes, once green, are now described as a gold. His appearance changes if he goes long without feeding: his eyes darken, becoming almost black, and purple bruises appear beneath his eyes. Edward is 6'2", and has a slender but muscular body.

Ouch, how i wish my future boyfriend or partner would be like this :P Hahaha, Shin Khai -- DREAM ON!!

I love the part where Edward (Robert) will watch Bella sleeps everynight and especially when they dance at the prom, where Edward carries Bella up and step onto his feet so se can dance... So sweet and romantic... :)

Shin needs to start dreaming now... :P

Nite all!

Part 2: Forgive and Forget

What would you feel when you are forgiven from something that you should have do it better? For me, I would indeed felt relieve and yet guilty at the same time. In the sense that, I knew I can do better but I did not do it.

What would you feel when you are forgotten? OMG, I would fell like I'm at the end of the world! Imagine my mom forgetting about me, I would be crying like crazy now. Imagine someone you care and love forgets you, will your heart feel good or happy about it? I dont think so... As for me, it's always hard for me to forget about someone or something that had been in my life earlier.

Let's take Mun Kok as an example... Why on the day that I received the news that he had passed away I would freak out and actually started to cry? When I really sit down and think over it, there are few reasons behind it:

1. It's shocking that the way he died actually frightens me
2. He was the first guy I ever had a crush on when I was 13 :P
   
3. He was very charming and cute since the day I met him till now --> he's a Taekwando black belt at the age of 16 ya know and a very good badminton player
4. He... He is just simply Mun Kok...

With all these things that had crossed my life before, how do you think I am going to forget about him? No, it's not easy and I think I will not forget till the day I die especially after they way he died...

This place (a notebook + cyberspace) sort of like giving me a soothe in the heart to spell out what I am most afraid of... I do not have family members to talk to, and I do not have much friends who would willingly listen to me -- which is what makes this place the best for me to talk to my ownself.

Anum, who is one of my coleagues told me the other day during a breakfast session that she had broken up with her many years fiance... she lookspale and down for a while but she had been a very happy and crazy girl we know of. I can see that she is a very strong person within and struggling to live alone again after all the years... She then asked me about my experiences. I said "Anum, I do not have experiences but I only have experience..." and then smiled and look away. I guess she understand what I meant and how I felt too. She then said "Nevermind, guys are like that!"... It was weird of what I said to her afterwards, I said "I guess like is a non stop rollercoaster to us. At times we will be at the top and then we will go down to the bottom in our life. I had been there (at the top) and I had seen how beautiful the sunrise or the stars shine, but I can never forget that it is at the bottom of the ride that makes me learn the most -- about myself, himself as well as people around me"...

Mom told me this morning that I was actually talking in my sleep (or should I say in my dream? :P).. I asked her what I said. She told me this is not the first time, it had happened few times already when I went back to Raub and share the same room as her. I insist to know what she heard, and she said that last night, I was actually calling my dad and crying. I was stunned to know this and I just kept quiet. The rain outside is getting heavier... I then ask her what else did I said (from previous nights weeks or months ago?)... She said she couldnt recall but she remember it was like just started 2 or 3 months ago where I often cried in my sleep and saying something like 'dont go'.... Weird as I heard from mom but I have to admit that, I did know that I cried in my sleep few times -- I thought I was just too tired.

I guess I had been trying very hard to forget what I dont like and what I am not happy with that had happened in my life before. As I had said earlier, it's not easy and sometimes, impossible to forget, even the very little thing that ever happened to you... When I say to forget, it doesnt means that I hate them, it just that, I had learnt from those experiences and ok, green light, lets forget about it and create some extra spaces for happy ones :)... Mom said, anything just share with her. Not that I dont want to but I dont want her to be worried of me and start getting sleepless nights after sharing my problems and things that happened to me with her.

It's hard for me to forget the time when you watched your dad actually took the motorcycle helmet and knocked it onto your mom's head. It's hard for me to forget when you saw that your mom had been physically and mentally abused to some extend that you felt you are so useless of not be able to help her. It's hard for me to forget that no cousins who wanted to play with you just because their parents said that your mom is from a poor family background and dont mix with people as such. It's hard for me to forget all those cracks between siblings that sometimes I envy so much of other family where I wish I was in theirs... sometimes. It's hard to forget the only one time you love a man so much and you loose him just before you realized you can no longer keep the relationship alive.

Whatever it is...

It's even harder for me to forget all those happy moments I had spent with my dad and my family together when I was small -- we went to vacations and dinner gatherings. It's even harder for me to forget all those happy moments I had with the man I love which I had learnt so much about the value of myself -- being love and pampered. It's even harder to forget those moments that you sister once holding your hand when you were small and both of you are taking bus to travel around -- which everything changed so much now.

It is the hardest to forget how all these ups and downs, sorrows and happiness, tears and laughter -- had mould myself into now...

Cant believe I would actually cried writting the last part of that (above).. :P

Conclusion, who said it's forgive and forget? Forgive is always easier than forget but... you will never forget about all those that you had forgiven in your life, it's impossible...

Let's have a life everyone. Stop bugging else's life and have one on your own. I love to write as I used to be. I love to smile as I always be. I love to sleep coz it's my hobby. :P

Tomorrow I'll be heading to the cinema for a movie -- 'Twilight'... I remember there's a time, how I wish he would take me to a movie... :)
I'll be watching this with some friends and Ric@JoJo and Amanda said it's a very romantic movie. Hope I would enjoy the romances in the movie. On Sunday, I'll go watch 'Boltz' alone. Feel like being alone and doing things alone sometimes :)

I'm hungry now... Have to cook my own meal... Miss mom so much now, hope she'll have a safe journey to Taiwan and will have a great time there! Muacks... I love ya, mom! :)

Love,
Shin

Forgive and Forget = Easy and Hard :)

Thought as the time passes by, everything will heal. Guess this is indeed true. I do not have the hard feelings on who's right or wrong anymore -- guess the forgive part had succeeded... but it's just so hard to forget..

Forgetting here is not about leaving all memories behind, it's more like leaving all the heartaches and bad experiences you had behind. I just realized that I am still at the state of trying to forget -- the hard way! Why I said so is because that I realized the fear develope within me towards certain aspects of life is due to the failure in the relationship. This fear and worries were very much affected on how hard am I going to try to let go and look around me.

Past experiences from my own parents' relationship too had changed my view on it that's why I truly believed in understanding, compromising and the value of giving and taking between two person in a relationship -- I was doing that till it failed. When it failed, it sort of like telling me that, no matter how hard you try, in the end, if the efforts are acknowledge in a way that makes you happy and makes your partner felt blessed, I guess then it would fail in the end..

Had tried to do what I saw lacking in my parents' relationship during my 2 and a half year romance with him, but still the results were bad. Guess he wasnt the person who would understand the way I wish it would be a one off relationship which I watched in the movie "Enchanted" -- Happily Ever After! :P

Sometimes, us girls are too into fairy tales but I had been always the logical one -- one who could differentiate between reality and fantasy. Happily Ever After for me takes a lot of effort from both. Understanding between two person needs time to be develop through effective and correct way of communication. Having fun all the time means making each other comfortable with each other is another ingredients in a successful romance. Give and take is another main point where both will learn how to compromise our needs sometimes to fulfill his / her partner's needs - no 2 individuals are having the same interests and needs all the time coz we are different, everyone is unique! I guess these are the fundamentals in achieving the fairy tale ending. :)

It's never easy...

Everyone is talking about Twilight (the movie) and I guess I'll have to pay the cinema a visit this weekend :P

May we all forgive and forget in a way that soothes our heart :)

Love,
Shin

p/s: Thanks Foo for listening to me about all this :)

Investment = money + money fertiliser! :P --> Money Growth!

The sky just dont seem to stop raining, I think it had been raining for almost 3 to 4 days now. Weather was cold and it caused my cough to become worse. But no matter how bad it was, mum's cooking and soup were indeed healing for me! :P

I dropped by at KL Sentral's Starbucks just now to get a cup of my fav Vanilla Latte before I headed home (simply cant resist Starbucks and I just love it!) and I bumped into someone, a senior back in Uni. His name is Jay (if I'm not mistaken :P) and we chit chated for a while till he asked about Ricky. Without any delay and very spontaneously I answered him, "I dont know, we already clashed (broke up in terms of Malaysian's English :P)"... He then asked me why and what happened but I just told him I dont bother and it's life anyway (Dont want to comment much on this issue anymore or else one day, he will say that I am trying to tell the world that he's the bad guy :P).. Okay, so this Jay guy had my number and he still keep it and guess we'll meet up next weekend, maybe together with some other friends too. I still can recall that he was this most good looking Indian guy in campus where all girls (no matter it's Chinese, Malay, Indian or Others) will have a crush on him :P... OOppppsss! I'm not, I'm the exception but I do think he's good looking -- like those Hindi movie stars... Hahahwakakakak!

He's working as an insurance agent now if I heard him correctly. Talking about insurance, I just got myself a policy yesterday morning (at last!)... through my mom's insurance agent (Prudential) and I had to pay RM250.00 every month for the policy. There goes my pocket money = have to cut down in shopping for clothes, have to cut down in buying books from Kinokuniya, have to cut down in everything... Guess it wont harm to pamper myself once in a while --> buying clothes!! Haha..

Insurance is one method for us to invest our money rather than just keep in the normal saving account or FD. Lately I had been thinking and looking out for ways to do investment. I cant just work and save my monthly income just like that -- it wont grow! I need to seek out some solutions slowly (no rushing) and I will become an investor! Hahaha..

Ok, I'll have to rest and keep my mind fresh for now to analyze all the investment methods taht had in store for me :P

Love and hope you will grow your money soon too!
Shin :P

p/s: Before I go, please spend a little time to visit this url:
http://www.furryfriendsfarm2006.bloglogspot.com

Com'on... Step a side already

Com'on.. Cool down and talk to me nicely ok? Listen to what I wanted to say first, dont always stop me. I am controlling my patience and don't you try to make me burst!

Hahaha, the above was what I had in mine when I was dealing with Salina this evening. Was trying to do my work but I just dont like how the team works sometimes. Surin will ask me to do this and at the same time, Salina might be craking her head ding the same thing too. So, what's the point of doing double work? I just hope everyone's work is just as clear as water to each other. I hope you understand what I mean here. :)

Basically I have to take over everything regarding applications from Salina, hopefully by Feb 2009. But I as what I was saying, if the person dont let go and let me do it (of course you have to be the couch), how successful the transition going to be? I want to be a good one in handling it, so please dont try to block my way or else I'll be very aggresive! Mark my words!

I need to take my shower and sleep already or else I will become a vampire tomorrow! Hahaha..

Love ya all,
Shin :P

Wild thoughts...

I had a very crazy and wild thought today.

"Akak, today I felt weird la. Was thinking about something" I skype Dilla this afternoon.
"What's that?" Dilla asked.
"I felt like I would be happier and enjoy living in a single life more" I told her.
":), hahaha good then" this was her last reply on this matter.

When come to think of it, I am admitting now that, I had started to have fear on relationship as well as commitment. I'm so scared it will failed again. Even scarier, I am scared that I wouldn't give my 100% in the relationship and started to take things for granted. I'm afraid I would started to become the one who take more than to give.

Should I said that I am having a slight fear on commitment? I no longer like the lovey-dovey feelings I once adore of. Not that I dislike them entire now, but perhaps, I'm not into it at this moment? It's more like I am learning to be the independent Shin Khai again after few years of struggle in something without a future. I wasted too much time on it that I didn't manage to do so many things when I can. I don't wish something to tied me down and hold me back from doing things that I wanted to do, again. I don't like being in this situation. I wanted to be someone who is happy, cheerful and independent.

I am no longer envy couples that displaying their "PDA" a.k.a Public Display Affection in front of me. Just let them be, they are happy and I am happy to be alone at this moment.

I used to tell or joke with mom, "What's the big deal if I never got married in the end? I dont think I will cry about it. As long as I love myself and I can make myself happy, I guess I dont need anyone to make me happy." Mom just keep silent. I know what she's thinking. She would love someone to take care of me too in the future, someone who is loving and care. I myself too would love that if it can be a reality, but why must we be so dependent on that? Dilla once said that, "In the end, you might feel lonely and when you need someone to be around you, you will understand what I'm telling you now." Guess I had just got used to being lonely with myself if you know how my siblings are and how was my family relationship's condition is.

I enjoy mingle with people and knowing someone new, but I am not afraid to be alone with my own too. Perhaps some would say that it's weird but what else could I say? Guess everyone is weird in their own way and I am in this way :)

Suddenly, I think of my dad. I was thinking, if my dad is still around with us till today and never actually left for a new family, I wouldnt be this lonely and my thoughts might be different too. Just maybe... maybe...

Ok, it's time to take my medicine and go to bed... :)

May God bless you all!

Love,
Shin :)

Privileges -- Good or Bad?

Saw a post in my lecturer, Sir Yuz's blog... so far, this is the only one that capture my attention to start writing something about it.

"Entrepreneurship 101"

Below are only my point of view - no special remark on whoever coz I have amazing people around me who had make a miracle out of this unnecessary 'privileges' the government had given and I am very proud of them!

Since I was small, I didn't know why there are so many unfairness between people in this country. When I was back in primary and high school, I would always ask myself, why must there exist a quota for everything that we are going to do -- to get a place in a school, to get a place in the top class, to get a place in a university and last but not least, to get a placement in a government company (or should I say - working with the government)... I used to ask myself, are we truly a citizen of this country? If yes, why are we been treated so unfairly?

Privileges are given to the race which they said to be the land owner of this country. But, does it really helps them? From Sir Yuz prespective, I assumed that he would be looking only on one small sector of the issue. Whereby what I am trying to say here would be involving a relatively larger sector of our life. It might be a terrible sensetive issue to talk about here.

Honestly, if you ask me -- by withdrawing the above mentioned privileges, will they still be able to survive? --> My answer would be -- it depends!

Only those who have a strong determination and have a strong will to survive will survive. Only those who are brave will survive. Only those who are not afraid to try and fail will survive. I believe they can be at the top of the world if they wanted to -- without any help from anyone.

What difference between us all? None!

Privileges are meant only for the uncertain. Privileges doesn't makes us prouder instead it made you sink and never rise to the level that those without the so called privileges are now.

Privileges only make sense to me when you really created a wow! thing out of it. If you just gonna do something plain and safe with something that had been provided to you, I guess it would be better for you to just shut-up and dont make a big fuss about that 'special' privileges given to you.

I would really love to see that our country would come to a day when this so called privileges is no longer exist and our citizens are completely ready to compete healthily for a better nation. Privileges will only be a hindrance for us to forget about the joy of competing as well as the sweet taste of success!

Entrepreneurs should be the brave one.. they are the mastermind behind all those giant corporation we see today! Do they started their journey with this privileges? NO, they were given nothing to start off with, just a pair of hands and legs with a brilliant mind and motivation!

"Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm." -- Winston Churchill

Be brave,
Shin

Be prepared...

I went down to the swimming pool a while ago. I don't know how to swim but I just love the water. I jumped into the pool, walk around it (of course by holding the the side of the pool) and started to practice my breathing by submerging into the water. Cool! I manage to do it so effortlessly now. Yay! But still, I wonder when can I be able to swim like the others... Envy them though.. :)

R said something to me a week ago and it still lingers around my mind.. till today I brought it up again during our conversation (chatting) in the evening. I had asked him, "What do you mean by being prepared?" As usual, he would start thinking the best words to be used to explain to me so that I would understand clearly. I admit that when the first time he said that to me, I had accepted it wholly without thinking over about what he actually said. When it started to keep pooping up in my head that I started to think...

Honestly, I do not like failure (no one likes or wants it) especially when it comes to something that is important to me. Example? Career of course, and especially Relationship.
When R said that we will be prepared once we venture into a new chapter -- I would start thinking, can we actually be prepared for it?

Perhaps, yes... For me, be prepared in a relationship would means that we have to realize all the differences between us -- personality, interest, religion, race, or even nationality. Very often, these factors had caused a lot of couple to break up, and yes, I had been through it that is why i said so. Things might seems nice and achievable at the beginning, but when you are already in the middle of the journey, our faith, trust and courage will be put to the test. Be prepared too for me would means that we have to realize all the possibility of obstacles that we might be facing in the future when we are walking down the road together... ... ...

Suddenly, something hits me on my thoughts. Friends around me always said this to me (regarding my view on romance -- of course after the first and last relationship failure) --- "You will never know what is right for you till you give it a try"... Perhaps they are right, why am I so worried? If he's a nice man and will treat me nicer, love and appreciate me better, why not give a chance for him to love me and as well give myself a chance to show him my love and care?

"Giving is always better than taking.."

Ouch, I guess I had finally understand what's going on now.

"You cant always measure the present with the past. The past is bad and had rotten, throw it away. The present is still fresh and why not try to preserve it?"

I felt much relieved now...

Love,
Shin :)

"Monday Blues" for the first time...

As soon as I opened my eyes this morning, I knew I will be having the worst illness ever (for a working adult) --> The Popular "Monday Blues". I woke up with a terrible sore throat, a headache and a tired body. I was then thinking, "Can I call Surin now and tell him that I am feeling sick and will be at work only in the afternoon?"... Nah, I tell myself that I can handle it :)

When I arrived at the Kerinchi station, I saw a familiar face at the Mamak Shop nearby. I wasn't wearing my glasses that time but his face was kind of easy to be recognized. Let's just call him Mr.M. I smiled and I was glad that at least he had the courage to lift up his hand and waved to me. I still wasnt comfortable seeing him due to what happened earlier... No, no... dont get me wrong, nothing big happened to us, no fight nor quarell -- it was just confession. He is a very nice guy but I have to tell myself that, there is just no chemistry that I can feel between me and Mr.M. When he confessed to me that he like me, I just broke up with my 2 and a half years romance. I guess the time has finally come to set myself free...

It was never an easy relationship. Both are 2 very different person trying to get along with each other. Things I love to do, he dont have much interest in them or he just dont like me doing it. Things he are good at, I found that I will never live up to his standards -- especially in singing. But overall, one of my lecturer @ friend, Mary said to me when I was chatting to her was... it's amazing that both of us (me and my ex) can be attached together for such a long time and the question in Mary's head was that, "How long could he try to control me?"... I was smiling when she said this to me and we all finally realize that in the end, force cant be used on me, it had to be mutual understanding and trust. Guess the relationship doesnt work out is not because of whoever's fault it was, it was just something about "individual's expectation" and "restriction". Mutual understanding wasnt not working both ways, compromisation was not understood, giving and taking wasnt balance and in the end, and out of all these, one just lose faith in another :)

It can be a very good experience by looking it at a positive point of view, but of coure, you need to realized where's the 'error' was so that next time you wont be making the same error again. I had learnt mine, hope he does :)

Few weeks ago, at last I told myself that, I am at last gain the freedom from within my soul to actually do and achieve whatever I wanted to achieve. I picked up swimming classes now to upgrade myself, I started learning how to knit for those I love, and I started to pick up new languages to spice up my life a bit with people around me, easpecially those from other countries -- "Magandang Gabi! Ako ay si Shin!".. hahahaha... This is all I knew... :P

Ouch, I started to cough already. Hope it wont get worse or else I'll be lloking like a vampire! Hahaha...

Have a nice day everyone!

Love,
Shin :)