Stop shouting! :(

Woke up and had an apple for my breakfast -- healthy breakfast indeed right? Oh ok ok... what the heck! This was not what I had in my mind at the moment. Something pissed me off 5 minutes ago and I am trying my best to calm down myself now.

Here's the story:

A bunch of kids from the Chinese secondary school dropped by selling tickets for the CNY celebration that they will be having somewhere in February. So, what happened during this lovely bright morning was, I went out to find out what's up with their promotion. So this young boy with 4 or 5 other of his friends were trying ot promote their program. I told them (lied) that my family wont be around during CNY and they boy quickly told me that it's after CNY. So I tell (lied) to them again that I need to ask my mom whether she wanted to go or not. As I stepped in, I really couldn't understand why must she reacted that way in front of outsiders. She started showing her furious face and shouted at me asking me to close the door. It's was like a reflex response that my voice what high and ask her, "Why must you reacted this way??" Then she calm down and start being defensive over it.

The truth is, I will never buy their tickets and I just try to be nice and polite to them. People like mom and some of you who are reading this right now, will never understand how hard it was to do things like what those kids did -- walking from house to house to promote you programs. I had been through it and if you are not going to support them, PLEASE DON'T DISCOURAGE THEM! It's a learning process for them.

So the reason for my mom defense is solely one reason:

• There are a lot of con-man out in the road nowadays. Students? So what? You think students cant be con-men?

The reason she given is acceptable and understandable but, it was the way she reacted and the way she delivered the information is so wrong. I knew how to protect myself. I have brains that will interpret whether thing is wrong or right -- I wont show a big notation mark on my face coz I knew how to deal with it in a better way -- no need for shouting, showing angry face, cursing nor "lock the door!" It made me somewhat repel from this home sometimes. I felt stress of having the need to deal with something I think isnt right. I knew I had been brought up living in this kind of responses and reactions, but for me, things need to be changed!

Was it my problem? Yes, it is my problem. The problem is I had grown up and I am now understand there are better ways to handle a situation rather than reacted in a negative way. Whatever it is, I love my family the way they are although sometimes I am having a hard time living with them. So, I choose to repel -- not completely -- but at times from them. There's just something needs to be changed for our own good.

I felt so much better now. It's never easy to not having anyone for you to share what you are thinking nowadays -- since the break and up.. hahaha... Talking to mom is sometimes useless as either her or me will ended up being upset coz she's from the old school and i'm from the new school. Theories just clashes! Hahaha... :) Love you still mom

Stomach aching..... gtg... :P

Love,
Shin :P